


Homecoming

by landminecat



Series: NOVA [2]
Category: Tom Clancy's The Division
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nerds in Love, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rogue Agents, SO MUCH FLUFF, Slice of Life, Technobabble, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Warlords of New York, seriously you have been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26231719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landminecat/pseuds/landminecat
Summary: Even though Theo is finally safe and sound in Haven he's still having violent nightmares that keep him up at night. Anna tries her best to help, but it's not easy to mend such a broken mind when you don't really know what you're up against.Takes place after The Breach, my first work in the NOVA series. See notes for more info.
Relationships: Theo Parnell/Original Female Character
Series: NOVA [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873543
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> I love Anna and Theo (and I was so glad to see that many of you did too!) and since they're not the main characters in my follow-up for The Breach (they are there, just working in the background and delivering witty one-liners every once in a while) I wanted to write something more about them to explore the dynamics of their relationship and talk more about their past. Be warned though - it's tooth-rotting fluff. At least as much as it can be taking place in the universe of Tom Clancy's The Division ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Can be read as a stand-alone if you really want to, but it takes place directly after The Breach and references some events that took place during the story.

Haven was always busy. People coming in, people leaving, people running around, people talking to each other and minding their own business. Ever since Nova came to be there was no single day that could be even relatively described as _lazy_. There was work to be done every single hour of every single day, keeping the inhabitants occupied at all times. Anna was no exception; sometimes she had to stay up late to make sure that everything was taken care of. Especially now that Nova was getting more and more present in New York and security was more important than ever.

She was currently reprogramming a few drones to scout the perimeter every twenty minutes, making sure that they had eyes wherever they would need them. It was relatively easy to program simple patterns but Haven and its surroundings were far from regular. Hence an open laptop, hundreds of lines of code and a software she decided to design herself to have better control over what was flying where. Rhodes told her to let it go and use whatever they had at hand at the time but she laughed him off. Thinking back maybe she shouldn't have done that. But they didn't just need any level of control over the drones - they needed very specific control and it was exactly what she was going for.

She liked working in Haven even though the room she used for it was relatively small. The overall commotion, people walking by and keeping themselves busy? It actually helped her work. Made her feel safe. Safer and safer with every passing day.

She was humming a tune and drinking tea from a chipped mug she managed to snatch from the canteen. It was getting really late and she should have been going to bed soon. She still had a few commands to enter though and she didn't want it to wait until morning.

"Looks like somebody's busy," she suddenly heard Theo's voice coming from just behind the doorframe. "You should go to sleep, you know."

Anna lifted her head up from the screen and noticed Theo leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of his chest, hair still tousled from sleep. He must have just woken up. She felt her heart ache at the sight, knowing what it must have meant.

"Another bad dream?" She asked, concern obvious in her voice.

Theo sighed and moved from the door to sit in a chair next to Anna, immediately putting his feet up on an empty desk. Only then did she notice the bags under his eyes and the unhealthy color of his skin.

"Yeah," he answered, his voice tired and hoarse. "I couldn't… I couldn't sleep. So I figured I could come here and help you. I knew you'd still be up."

"Well, I can get everything done faster if you help me. I'm working on the drone software. Wanna give me a hand?"

He nodded eagerly and her heart almost broke at the sight. She has known him long enough to know that is was best to keep him busy whenever his mind was racing. She knew he needed things to distract him from… other things. Negative thoughts. Anxiety. Memories. Everything.

"What do you need me to do?" He asked, removing his feet from the desk and sitting back in the chair, the look on his face hopeful and a little relieved.

"You could start by running through these commands," she handed him the laptop and reached for another one, just in her arm's reach. "I'm going ro run the patterns again to make sure that we're not missing anything."

"On it," Theo sent her a weak smile and immediately delved into the lines of code he was supposed to check.

Anna couldn't have torn her eyes away from him though. He didn't look good. He didn't look happy. His wounds were all healed by then but she could swear that she could still see the pained expression on his face. He wasn't doing well. Frankly, he actually seemed to be doing _worse_.

He noticed her looking at him and tried to smile again, but the grimace was anything but a smile. She put the laptop away and moved her chair closer, reaching out to touch his face.

“Come sleep with me tonight,” she said, forcing him to look at her. “You need rest.”

“No,” Theo looked away from her face, suddenly finding the server shelf behind her back very interesting. “No. I told you already. At least one of us should be well rested. I don’t want you to have to wake up every single time I do.”

His voice was so, so tired, laced with restlessness. She moved even closer, once again forcing Theo to look at her. She suddenly started to think that maybe there was another reason why he would decline her offer twice by now. Maybe he just didn’t want to share a bed with her. It hurt to think like that, but it could have very well been true.

“Alright,” she sighed, her hand leaving his face. “I’m not going to force you. I just… I’m really worried, okay? I’ve seen what happens when the nightmares wake you up. It can’t be easy to live like that.”

“That’s precisely why I don’t want you to be there,” he whispered, still not looking at her. “You have enough on your plate as it is. I don’t want to add to that.”

Anna blinked and lifted her hands to massage her temples. She did remember this one time she was in the same room when Theo woke up from a nightmare, at Dragov’s Wall Street base. At first it was just screams and violent thrashing, ultimately turning into a fit of sobs as soon as he woke up. She was by his side immediately, her hand on his shoulder, trying to help him calm down, but it didn’t work. She was actually scared for him then and knowing that it was still happening also made her scared now. It didn’t help that she knew what his coping mechanism was. He would overwork himself until he was so tired he would actually collapse on the bed and drift off because of exhaustion. But it didn’t always work. Sometimes it even made things worse. Apparently he had no idea how to help this and well, it’s not like there was any psychological counseling available in this new, post-apocalyptic reality.

“You don’t add anything to my plate, Theo,” she tried to make her voice sound sympathetic, but it was impossible to hide the worried undertone. “I care about you. I’m worried. And trust me, it hurts me much more to see you like this than it would to help you any way I can.”

He lifted his gaze then to finally look her in the eyes, really _look_ at her. He looked lost, desperate, exhausted. Anna felt tears well up in her eyes at the sight.

“You don’t need this,” he said, blinking fast behind his glasses. “You really don’t. You already helped me so much I wouldn’t dare to ask for anything else.”

She moved closer and placed her hand on his cheek again, stroking his skin with her thumb. He leaned into the touch and exhaled softly.

“We’re in this together now, remember?” she said, leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. “You’re not alone anymore. You have allies, you have friends. And you have me. Let me take care of you. Please.”

Theo bit his bottom lip at those words, a violent shudder going through his entire body. Anna pressed her forehead against Theo’s and went for his lips in a tender kiss. He stilled at the contact, relaxing visibly, his muscles no longer so tense. She moved her hand to the back of his neck and stroked his hair absent-mindedly, resulting in a soft moan escaping Theo’s lips.

“So I do help you relax after all,” she smiled as soon as she pulled away, the blush on Theo’s face making him finally look normal.

“Of course you do,” he said, an offended tone present in those words that made Anna chuckle. “But it’s... just you. So I don’t want to take advantage of that. I don’t want you to think that I’m… broken. Clingy. Desperate. Whatever.”

She smiled again and brought her hand back to his face, her touch soft and reassuring.

“I don’t mind you being broken, Theo. We all are, in a way. Some more than others. But I’m here for you. Letting me help is _not_ taking advantage of me.”

He smiled at that, finally _smiled_ \- not with just his lips but with his eyes too, making Anna feel warm and affectionate. Damn, she would do anything for this man. Anything he needed, anything he asked. Just to make him feel better for a second.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a while, his gaze focusing on her eyes. “I don’t want you to be… overwhelmed. I know I can be a lot to handle.”

“That’s true,” she admitted, placing her other hand on Theo’s thigh to help the reassurance in her voice. “But I don’t mind. Really. And if there’s any way I could help you, I would do it in a heartbeat. I’m sure you would do the same for me.”

“I would.”

“Why should I be any different then?”

He smiled at her again, this time even warmer.

“You do have a point there,” he added after a while. “I _would_ do anything for you. I hope you know that. I just… never assumed it could be the same on your side. I’m not… I was never… anybody’s first choice, if you know what I mean.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Anna stood up at that, moving next to Theo still sitting in the chair and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to let his head rest against her chest. “You are _my_ first choice. You always will be. But we can talk about it more after we get some sleep. Preferably in _my_ bedroom.”

Theo wrapped his arms around her as well, obviously enjoying the closeness. Anna kissed the crown of his head and let her lips linger there for a while, inhaling his scent. She could feel his muscles relax under her touch, almost as if the tension was leaving him bit by bit, tendon by tendon.

“Are you sure?” he asked after a while. “I wouldn’t want to… impose. Or keep you up at night.”

“I’m the one offering, in case you didn’t notice,” Anna whispered into the top of his head. “But if you don’t want to, it’s fine. I just really think that it could help you.”

“I do. Want to, that is. I really do. But…”

“But?”

Theo sighed and squeezed her even tighter, brushing his lips against her collarbone.

“What if I wake up screaming?” he said after a while, his voice shaking. “Or worse, what if I hurt you? What if I wake up and don't recognize you? What if I have a dream about strangling Keener and wake up to find out it wasn’t Keener but _you_? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I wouldn’t… I…”

“Hey,” Anna placed a reassuring hand on his head, placing another kiss right next to it. “Relax. I understand. I know you’re worried. But we won’t know if we don’t try.”

Theo nodded at that and brought Anna closer, wrapping his arms around her waist and squeezing her tightly. It did hurt a little where his glasses dug into her skin but she didn’t really care. She wanted him to feel safe. Welcome. Wanted.

She wanted him to feel _loved_.

“Come on,” she said after a while, the sudden wave of affection she felt towards the man not dissipating at all. “Let’s finish up here and go to sleep.”

“Okay,” Theo sighed and moved away from her welcoming embrace, reluctantly. “I already noticed some stuff in your code that I could improve. I’m probably going to need an hour or so.”

“Good,” Anna answered, running a hand through her hair. “You were always much better with the drones anyway. I’d gladly leave you the backend part and just focus on flight patterns.”

“Say that again.”

“What?”

“Flight patterns.”

“Shut up.”

She playfully nudged his arm with her fist and sent him a scowl, making him laugh out loud before he turned his attention to the screen. Anna sat down as well, opening the software and shooting another glance towards Theo before coming back to her work fully.

“Hey,” she said, trying to get his attention.

“What?” He lifted his head, adjusting his glasses at the same time.

She shot him a smug grin and whispered softly, “Flight patterns.”

“ _Oh my God_.”

“Now get to work.”

Theo blew her a kiss and turned his attention back to the screen, typing furiously and checking his notes from time to time. Anna wanted to work as well but it was very hard for her to focus. She worried about Theo. She knew he had some psychological problems - hell, he was on meds for most of his life - and that they have been left untreated for the last couple of years. Ever since the Dollar Flu hit it has never really been a priority for anyone, much less for him. But it couldn’t have been easy. A genius neurotic left to die in the Quarantine Zone, abandoned by SHD and everyone he knew amidst a nearly ruined New York? It was pure luck that he survived. Although she wasn’t really that surprised. He was resourceful, he was smart. He should have never gotten involved with Keener though.

“You’re staring,” his voice brought her back to reality and she shook her head, blushing at being caught in the act.

“Maybe,” she answered, peeking from behind her laptop screen. “So what?”

“Nothing. I just still don’t know what you actually see in me.”

“Probably the same things you see in me, Theo.”

“So I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you? The smartest, kindest and cutest person you ever met? The reason you get up every morning just to see the way I smile at my egg sandwich?”

Anna chuckled at that, but she wasn’t going to lie. Theo’s words did make strange warmth bloom around her heart. She loved the feeling and she has never known this with anyone before.

“Yes. Pretty much,” she answered, trying to control her blush. “Except there’s one other thing that’s pretty important.”

“That is?”

“You’re kind of a badass. I like that too.”

It was Theo’s turn to chuckle as he dismissed her words with a wave of his hand and returned his attention to the screen. Anna ultimately did the same, really wanting to get the programming over with. It wasn’t going to take long anyway.

When they were finally done with the work and Theo closed the laptop with a yawn, Anna made sure to log all his instructions and run a simulated test flight that was going to produce multiple results based on different variables that would be ready for review on the next day. She stood up, stretched a little and sent Theo a warm smile, getting a similar one in return.

"Okay," she said after a while, a strong yawn stopping her mid-sentence, "Time to go to bed. Come on."

***

Anna woke up to an elbow smashing violently against her side and to Theo's frightened scream echoing in the room. He was tossing around in the bedsheets and sobbing, obviously still asleep and definitely having one of his nightmares again. Anna groaned as she tried to sit up, the hit she just took still resonating with pain where it connected with her ribcage.

"Theo," she said, her voice still coarse with sleep. She reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, trying to keep him still. "Theo, wake up. It's just a bad dream. You're in Haven and you're safe."

He was still stirring, beads of sweat shiny on his forehead in the moonlight. Anna squeezed harder, hoping that solid weight might be a good way to wake him up without receiving another blow to the side or to the face. Theo opened his eyes soon after; unfocused at first, darting around the room, _terrified_. As soon as his gaze landed on Anna however he took a deep breath and stilled, grabbing her arm tightly.

"What," he breathed again, shaking, trying to calm down somehow. "Oh fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't… I…"

"It's okay," Anna said immediately, reaching with her free hand to wipe the sweat away from his face, resting her palm on his cheek. "It's okay, Theo. It was just a bad dream. You're safe."

He nodded and breathed again, resting his head back on the pillow. Anna propped herself up on her arm and laid down as well, looking at him and caressing his cheek with the back of her hand. He turned a little to look her in the eyes, a grimace of pain still prominent in his usually relaxed facial features. He looked exhausted, broken. Defeated.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, the look in his eyes suddenly _desperate_ , his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn’t mean to wake you up. I know you have to rest. I'm so…"

"Stop, Theo," she interrupted him, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "It's okay. Really. You know I'm here for you. I really don't care if you wake me up. I'm just worried about those dreams, is all."

Theo sighed and sat up at that and Anna followed him, her eyes not leaving his face for a second. He pulled his knees up and surrounded them with his arms, resting his head on top of them. Anna was right next to him, her hand placed on the small of his back in a comforting gesture. She could feel that he was still tense. And shaking. Her heart ached just from looking at his figure, lost and shivering in the moonlight.

"It's so stupid," he said after a while, another sigh extending the last word, a restless undertone still present in his voice. "It's been so long and I'm still dreaming about that fucker Keener. And Blaze. But this time they're not coming for me, they're coming for _you_. And it's so much worse. I’m running as fast as I can but I can’t get to you in time. And you… and they kill you. And I have to watch."

Anna felt a sting of pain in her chest at those words and bit her lower lip. She couldn’t have imagined what it must have felt like. If it was her dreaming about Theo it would have broken her heart. She knew what he has been through before; he told her all about constant life on the run after what happened to the First Wave, how he was abandoned by SHD and left to fend for himself or die; about the stress and worry, about ways he had to come up with to make sure that he wasn’t found. Not only by Keener, but also by everyone who might have been out to get him, including Division agents. He was marked as a rogue agent all this time after all. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” she said quietly, moving even closer to the man and surrounding his shoulders with her arm. “But we’re safe now. Keener is gone. Blaze is gone. And we’re in Haven, one of the most secure places in the entire New York now. We’re safe, Theo, we’re _fine_.”

“I know,” he answered fast, pain obvious in his voice, his arm wrapping around hers awkwardly. “I know that, Anna. It’s just… I don’t know how to stop. I’m scared. And I… I don’t want to lose you.”

Anna brought him even closer, kissing the crown of his head. He was still shaking. She felt the warmth of his body against hers, trying to give him comfort with her presence. She hasn’t felt that level of connection in a long while. Hell, she’s probably never had anything similar in her entire life. She had friends, yes, colleagues; those who were killed when SHD abandoned the First Wave. They used to talk to each other, to laugh together, to give each other comfort before missions, but they never truly opened up to one another. Maybe it was a good thing. She missed them for a while, shocked with the abruptness and gruesomeness of their deaths, but she somehow got over the initial emptiness where they used to be not so long ago. It wouldn’t be like that with Theo. She knew loss, but there was a certain level of it she couldn’t imagine surviving. 

She wouldn’t survive losing Theo.

“You’re not going to lose me,” she whispered, the sound muffled by Theo’s hair. “I promise.”

Theo said something back, his voice was muffled by Anna’s shirt and she just squeezed him tighter again before moving away to look him in the eyes. He was still a little unfocused, but there was the usual glimmer of calmness hidden somewhere beneath all the strain and worry. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I just need to get used to this,” he said after a while, relaxing visibly and letting his legs drop to the bed again. “To the fact that I don’t have to run anymore. That Keener is not out to get me. That it’s safe to stay in one place for a longer period of time. I… haven’t felt that in a long time. And I guess it’s not that easy to just get used to it again.”

“You’re probably right,” Anna kissed his cheek and pressed her forehead against his, smiling. “But for what it’s worth, Nova is your new home. We’re all in this together. And I’m with you every step of the way.”

"It’s worth more than you can imagine," he said, his breath hot and moist against Anna's cheek, making her skin tingle. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I want you to know that."

“I know that,” she nuzzled his nose with hers, chuckling. “And you know how much it means to me. Now wait here, I'm going to get you some water."

Theo nodded at that, obviously unhappy with the fact that Anna had to untangle herself from him, but she wasn't planning to be long. She moved to the end of the bed and reached for a water bottle. The man drank hastily as soon as she handed it over to him.

Anna watched him drink and let her mind wander. A year ago she would have never thought that there would be someone sharing a bed with her, someone she cared about so deeply. It wasn’t easy for her to trust others and it wasn’t easy to gain her trust either. But something about Theo made her fall for him so easily. Looking back at how they met, at how they cracked the Tribeca package, at how she found out what happened to his father and how fast and _hard_ it all brought them together - it seemed unreal but also predictable in a way. It wasn’t easy to find a connection this deep, especially in a world ruined by the Dollar Flu, trying to rise from the ashes - and yet here they were. Broken, battered and bruised - but, miraculously, _together_.

„Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked after a while, putting the empty water bottle on the floor to be discarded later, startling Anna with the question. „Do I have something on my face? Or maybe you finally realized how beautiful I am and you just can’t look away from this handsome face?”

There it was. The usual snark and mischievousness she has grown to adore so much.

„Just thinking about how we got here,” she said, smiling softly. „And about how much I want to kiss you. Not just now, but in general. Although I kinda want to kiss you now too.”

„Who am I to get in the way of what you want?” Theo chuckled and moved a little to sit closer to Anna, his knees touching hers. „I would give you anything. A kiss is the least I can do.”

She managed a soft smile before she felt his lips connect with hers in a soft and tender kiss, switching her brain off completely the way his kisses usually did. Reaching upwards to place her hand on Theo’s cheek she felt the warmth of his skin, the faint hint of stubble and a smile relaxing his features under her touch. She loved kissing him almost as much as she loved being with him; both were things she couldn’t survive without anymore.

When he finally pulled away to look her in the eyes she immediately noticed the adoration he usually looked at her with, warming his expression and making her heart skip a beat. There was something about his eyes that always had that effect on her. Something that made her feel like she was his lifeline; a feeling she never had before. There was also something that awoke this strange feeling deep inside her heart that she wasn’t aware of before - that it was going to be okay, that they were going to get through this. No matter what happens.

So when they dove back under the covers and when she brought Theo’s head to rest against her chest in a warm and welcoming embrace, it was just that. They were going to be fine as long as they were together. Theo brought her closer by wrapping his arms around her waist and squeezing tight, his skin warm under her touch, his breath soft and quiet against her collarbone as soon as he fell asleep again and relaxed in her arms.

They were going to be fine.

***

Anna was a little restless due to a few tasks she had to complete during late night hours and the hot shower added to that, making her feel sleepy as well. It was cold in Haven, it always was in winter, especially with snowfall as hard as then, but she didn't really care. All she could think of was the fact that she was going to be in bed soon and that she didn't have anywhere to be on the next day so she could just sleep in for as long as she wanted.

As soon as she entered her room, closed the door behind her and slipped under the covers she heard the knob turn and Theo entered soon after, beaming at her and carrying a tray with him.

"I was kinda hoping to catch you here," he approached her carefully and placed the tray on the bed, sitting down next to her. She almost gasped as soon as she noticed what Theo brought in. She hasn't seen cookies in more than a year.

"Is this… coffee? And cookies?" She asked, book immediately cast aside, moving closer to sit next to Theo.

"Coffee? At this hour? I'm not a madman," he winked at her, handing her one of the mugs. "It's hot cocoa. Dragov brought some cocoa powder in today and I made it just the way my mother used to. I hope you like it."

Anna lifted the mug to her face and took a whiff, delighted with the smell. She took one sip and _damn_ , the taste was amazing.

"Wow," she said, taking another sip. "It's really good. Thank you. Am I tasting cinnamon? And honey?"

Theo chuckled at that and took one cookie from the tray, dunked it in hot cocoa and brought it to Anna's lips. She bit down on the treat, enjoying the taste of the cookie much more than she thought she would. Theo took the other half and dunked it in the cocoa once again, this time eating it himself.

"Yeah. You guessed both. It was my favorite treat when I was a kid," he smiled again, taking a few sips from his mug. "And when I saw those cookies in the kitchen I just… had to be a little selfish, I guess. And I wanted to do something nice for you. As a thank you, you know.”

Anna smiled at that and reached for another cookie, dunking it in the drink again and eating it whole. Damn, she loved chocolate chip cookies. She almost forgot what they tasted like.

"You do so many nice things for me, Theo," she accentuated his name with a breathy sigh, making him laugh a little. "Hey, you really do. Joking aside, nobody has ever been so _considerate_ towards me."

Theo was already done with his drink and with his half of the cookies, so he put the mug away and moved closer to Anna, reaching up to touch her face.

"How could I not be," he whispered, pretending to be offended. "I love you more than anything in this fucked up world. Besides, I owe it to you. You didn’t exactly get a lot of sleep last night and it’s the least I could have done.”

She smiled at that and gave his lips a quick peck before coming back to her hot cocoa and cookies to finish them.

"I was hoping to have a nice, lazy evening," Anna said after a moment of comfortable silence and Theo absent-mindedly running circles against her cheek with his thumb, "But this is so much more than I could have hoped for. Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome. Now I would like to make a suggestion. How about I go take a shower as well and join you in bed for some, I don't know, late night bickering or that 3D printing argument we never finished? You choose."

"I'd rather you just came here to snuggle,” she said, a playful glint in her eyes. "But I'll take whatever I can get. Now go for that shower."

Theo placed the items he brought back on the tray and stood up, kissing Anna's forehead before leaving.

"I'll be back soon," he whispered with a smile. "And then we can decide. Snuggling does sound strangely appealing."

With that, he left the room and left Anna to tangle herself in the sheets and blankets just to get warm and more comfortable. She almost drifted off before Theo came back though. She only noticed Theo coming back because she suddenly felt a pair of soft lips press against the back of her neck and she was suddenly engulfed by the smell of standard issue military soap. She never cared about the smell but now she liked it more than anything because she associated it with Theo.

"You were supposed to wait for me," he said playfully, kissing the back of her neck again, wriggling a little to get under the covers as well. "Don't you fall asleep on me now."

Anna blinked and turned around, facing Theo and nuzzling his nose with hers. He removed his glasses and placed them on the floor, wrapping his arms around Anna’s waist to bring her closer soon after. She returned the gesture by surrounding his neck with her arms and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Sorry,” she whispered, the playful smile on Theo’s lips that she always adored blooming with every passing second. “I’m just really tired and the cocoa and cookies were so good.”

“I know,” he kissed her back and pressed his forehead against hers. “I missed it so much. And it was so nice to be able to try it again. It reminds me of home. Back when it was a safe place.”

She reached upwards to place a hand on his cheek and caress it gently.

“You never really told me about it,” she whispered, her lips only millimeters away from his. “I mean, I know about you and your father, but no details.”

Theo winced a little, but didn’t turn away from Anna’s questioning look.

“I… haven’t really talked about it with _anyone_ ,” he said after a while, still pressed against her. “But I think I’d like to. If you want to listen, that is.”

“Of course I do,” she kissed him again, briefly but sweetly. “I’m here for you, Theo.”

He nodded and smiled again, returning the kiss and just lingering there for a few long seconds, enjoying the warmth of her lips against his.

“The thing is,” he said after a while, moving a little closer and wrapping one of his legs around Anna’s, “I actually had a very happy childhood. I mean, we had everything, me and my brothers. We were never bored, never hungry, never neglected. Our mother was the sweetest woman there could be. We went to a good school, had good grades. But I was always the odd one out. I was more into reading than socializing when I was a kid. And tinkering. You know, taking apart all the mechanical toys we had and trying to put them back together. My father always scolded me for that, but he was the one who bought me my first set of programmable cars. I looked up to him so much. But I was so, so very naive when it came to other kids.”

Anna nodded. She knew what it was like. From what Theo was saying their childhood was actually pretty similar as well. Apart from the fact that they grew up in two different countries, of course, and Anna’s father wasn’t a senator.

“Let me guess,” she said with a soft smile, running her hand through Theo’s hair, “You didn’t have many friends so you were desperate to make some. You would go out of your way to please the other kids and get on their good side because you wanted them to like you. But they just used you for their own gains and never really cared about your feelings.”

„Actually… yeah,” Theo said, surprise evident in his voice as Anna giggled and kissed him again. “I don’t think I would have been able to put this into words any better than this.”

“I guessed as much. Judging from the kind of person you are now, I mean,” she nuzzled his nose with hers again. “Seems like we share more experiences than we initially thought.”

“Yeah,” Theo said with a breathy laugh, scooping her closer and using his thumb to absent-mindedly trace circles against her hip bone, “Yeah, it was exactly like you said. I never really had any friends. I mean, there was a group I was kinda part of but never really belonged there. I see now that they were probably jealous of me but back then I couldn’t understand where my fault was. I was nice. I would help them whenever they would ask. I never argued with them, hell, I went out of my way to solve _their_ arguments because I didn’t want to lose them. But they were good with mind games and it was the first time I started getting paranoid. That they would do stuff without me. That they would all get mad at me and that I would be left alone. I know it sounds stupid now, but… yeah, it sounds stupid. No matter what I follow it up with.”

“It doesn’t,” Anna interrupted him, kissing his forehead this time. “It really doesn’t.”

Theo smiled at that, leaning into the kiss.

“So yeah. Anyway. I didn’t really have any other friends so I was stuck with them for a while. Nobody else really wanted to hang out with me and I was a loner anyway. But I would start having nightmares, insomnia, panic attacks. And I had to watch everything I did because of my father and his political career. Noticing how people were picking him apart I started worrying that they could get to me too. Yeah, it was pretty bad when I went to college. I never understood why people would want to talk to me so I usually assumed that they wanted to get to my father through me. And he always got angry whenever I would try to protect us. He sent me to a psychiatrist, they put me on meds. I… didn’t like that part of my life.”

“I can imagine,” Anna rubbed his ear affectionately and moved her hand back into his hair soon after. “I was on meds too. Anxiety and panic attacks. It got better eventually, but it was a very long and tedious process. Of course my situation was different, but I think I know what you’re talking about.”

“Exactly,” Theo closed his eyes for a while and as soon as he opened them Anna felt the brush of his eyelashes against her cheeks. “I was angry. I couldn’t understand what was going on. You know, my father once told me that he would actually prefer if I was involved in some kind of a sex scandal instead of this _hacking shit_ , as he called it. Because it was _normal_. I mean, can you imagine?”

She couldn’t, but then again she assumed Theo’s father was not a bad person. Theo did paint a picture of him that basically screamed _a really good father_. He probably just couldn’t identify his son’s problems and needs correctly. That, and he was incredibly serious about his political career.

“It must’ve been hard,” she answered, kissing him again. “I’m glad you got through this.”

“So am I. You know, I think I just wanted to hear him say that he’s proud of me. _Once._ I didn’t need anything more. But he never said it. I mean… I know he _was_ proud. Probably. I _did_ have amazing grades and I won so many scholarships during my school years; hell, I was always first in my class! It was the same at work, too. Everybody said my skills were exceptional and that they were glad to have me. But I never heard it from him. And it hurt.”

Anna switched her position a little, this time wrapping her leg around Theo’s and pressing her chest flush against his. He smiled at that and brought her closer by tightening the grip around her waist.

“I know it’s not the same and it never will be,” she whispered, looking him straight in the eyes. “But _I’m_ proud of you. You’re so fucking smart, Theo. I never met anyone like you in my entire life. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re cute. And you’re such a good guy. I’m sure your father was _really_ proud of you. He probably just didn’t know how to show it.”

Theo snorted at that, but still kept eye contact with Anna. She loved noticing the subtle changes in his mood just by looking at his eyes. He was visibly more relaxed, content. Happy. The thought that she might have been the reason for that filled her with such _joy_ she didn’t know it could be a physically overwhelming feeling.

“Probably,” he said with a smile, the tight hug enveloping her in the warmth of his body, “But hey. It does mean a lot coming from you. It really does. Like, you’re the most impressive person I met in my entire life. It’s not just that though. You’re kind, you’re nice. And the way you smile makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You blew my mind. I don’t even know what else I could say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” she whispered into his lips, her hand once again caressing his cheek. “But thank you. I… it's always nice to hear something like that about yourself.”

“Oh, I can go on. I absolutely adore the way you talk about circuit boards and-”

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes and moved again, pressing her lips against his in a heated kiss.

He melted into her immediately, his brain switching off all rational thought and processing power as soon as her tongue slipped between his lips. She maneuvered him onto his back and slid a hand under his T-shirt, the pads of her fingers hot against his skin, desperate to keep them connected. He could never get used to this; the kisses themselves and the way it all made him feel, like he was important, like he _belonged_. 

“Anna,” he breathed into her mouth, eyes half-lidded and glassy. He wanted to say so much more but there was no way to put it into words; this much would have to do.

“Theo,” she answered with a smile and a breathy moan, immediately coming back to the kiss, straddling his hips in the process and making him moan because of the contact.

She placed her hands on his cheeks and kept kissing him, nibbling at his lower lip from time to time and smiling every single time they had to pull away. He almost felt like his heart was going to burst because of the overwhelming love and affection he felt for that woman. Reaching up to hold her hips steady he closed his eyes and let himself be loved, wanted and cherished. Anna pulled away to breathe after a while, pressing her forehead against his and smiling softly.

“I love you,” he whispered, nuzzling her nose with his. „I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Theo,” she answered, placing a sweet kiss on his forehead.

And she did, she loved him so much it felt unfair to try and put it into words. She never expected to fall this hard for anyone, especially under the circumstances in New York. But she couldn’t help it. She would do anything for this man, anything he needed, anything he wanted. Just to make him happy and comfortable, to make up for all the shit he has been through in his life. She knew she wouldn't have been able to fix him overnight, hell, she might not have been able to fix him at all, but it didn't matter in the slightest. She was so, _so determined_ to just be there for him, no matter what he might need.

He turned out to be so worth it after all.


End file.
